Filth

So today I saw a link on my best friend Madison Kimrey's facebook. I'm not a big reader so i didn't read the article she had shared. Though i did read the title and it got me thinking. The title was "'Gay Is Okay But Gross' Is Homophobia, Too." Now, I am a supporter of gay rights. I have many LGBT friends. They are people too and it sickens me to even think of a person thinking less of another based merely because of their sexuality. Equality is my life and this needs to be fixed.

Homophobes are people too and I do not think less of them because of their beliefs, but for a person to tell another they are less of a person is not right and I do not support that.Homophobia is normal, but so is homosexuality. Earlier i said it sickened me to think of this (Homophobia) as normal. Homophobes say they are sickened by homosexuality.

The problem is, it is NORMAL. What i see as gross is that people can't respect each other for the most simple things. You read from a book that you believe the creator wrote that homosexuality is a "sin." I respect your beliefs, I do not judge. But I DO NOT RESPECT YOUR DISRESPECT TOWARDS ANOTHER. Saying love is gross? I say your hatred is gross. Homophobia is gross. Calm. Down. 

Is love not allowed anymore? What has this come to? Respect each other. If everyone was the same how could you tell us apart? Just because a person doesn't believe in the same thing that you do does not mean you can harm them. Think of how much you're hurting them. Is that right?

Homophobia is not okay.

Boiling Water and Bleeding

Hiya

     Yesterday I was just scrolling through Instagram. I have used Instagram to inspire others through my pictures and say you aren't alone. Well due to having many depressed, suicidal and self harming followers I usually come across what some may call depressing material (cuts, blood, rants, tears, etc.). But last night I came across a picture that I had to save to my phone. It wasn't a depressing picture, it was inspirational. It was a short rant that only took six words. Six. Words. Those six words can keep a person from doing something idiotic.
     As a self-harmer, I have said these six words many times. These six words were "self harming is not a joke." This post was made about the "#cutforliam" started by directioners, which I had never heard of. After making a post about the cut for Liam, my friend Gracie (a directioner) commented that cut for Liam was a big misunderstanding. I took down the post but replaced it with the "self harming is not a joke" picture with no caption whatsoever.
     Earlier I said that I have said those six words many times before. I myself have met people that looked at self-harming as somewhat of a joke or a competition for who could receive the most attention from scars. I don't remember the first time I self harmed but I remember when I noticed something was wrong. I noticed I was self harming and having nervous breakdowns. I started to write a song about it titled Boiling Water and Bleeding.
     After this I started to take these things more seriously. I noticed those around me were also going through somewhat of the same thing. That even though we all had nothing in common we all bonded because we all were developing, getting over, or had depression. Well, most of us at least.
     There were some people who thought because we were true to who we are we were the cool kids. This did not end well at all. These kids were the ones who took self harming as a joke or a contest. They did everything for attention and faked everything so that they could keep it up. I felt as if it was my fault that they hurt themselves to try and please others. I noticed I was beating myself up for it and jut started ignoring them. It kept getting worse and worse because they wanted to get everyone's attention and I was part of everyone. They burned themselves, they cut themselves, starved, took pills. It was all ending with pain. Everyone felt pain. And to think they did all of this to get attention.

Self harming is not a joke.

Kehts ar gud.

Ello!

Lately I've just kinda been doing NOTHING. Yay... 

But today I came across a post on Facebook literally saying "Hey guys am I ugly or pretty?" and it got me to thinking. Really in my mind- everyone is beautiful. It hurts me to know that everyone is self-conscious. Even people that seem really conceited have something they don't like about them. 

Being bullied for years, one day I thought to myself "Why is it that they decide to hurt me? I haven't done anything to them." So mid-argument with a girl I disliked, I started crying and took a moment to myself. I passed her a note (we were in Social Studies Class) explaining how I was sorry for saying rude comments back to her, and that really I was somewhat jealous of her. She replied saying that she was sorry for her bullying and that she was jealous of my loyal friends. I asked her why she didn't leave her group of rude friends if she did not approve of what they were doing later on in the conversation and she replied with something i will remember forever. At school, my friends and I were always rumored to be the suicidal/depressed kids and she had always thought that was true. She told me that whenever she was younger she was very attached to her cousin, who always had cuts on her wrist- if you know what I mean. While now... I kind of doubt this statement... But she says she saw her own cousin commit suicide. I do not know if this is completely true but I will believe it.

Knowing this information made me realize there are many reasons why a person can hurt another, and it doesn't always have to be intentional. I have also talked with another one of my childhood bullies who claims he has family issues. I believe he takes out his anger on others, learning from his parents, and his parents are the ones causing his anger.

So if you're dealing with pain caused by others, take the time to think what they might be going through that is causing your pains. And also, if you're being bullied, try talking to them and helping them. It will get better.

I love you.

See you on the flip side Batman.

Q&A

Earlier I posted on my Facebook that I would be doing a Q&A for those who did not know me very well. Now that i have a new blog I thought "Hey Lizz- why don't we just post it there... that way everyone will know who you are."

So.
I'm Lizz and this is the Q&A. (all of the questions were given to me by my friend Marian)

 Q: If you got to travel anywhere, where would you go?
I think maybe Britain or Scotland. I'm very interested in my heritage and both are places I'd love to go. Scotland has always seemed very beautiful to me so I would love to go there. But I have studied Britain for years and I've even developed somewhat of an accent!
 Q: Favorite thing to do?
This may sound a bit cliche but I love just being with my friends. Which usually leads to harmonizing to classic rock songs and repeating lines from musicals. Haha! I do also love being onstage and working backstage because theater is just everything to me. Walking while listening to music and just thinking is just amazing. But out of all of that I think my favorite thing to do is help others.
 Q: Favorite social media site?
Really I don't have much interest in social media. Facebook is usually what you'll find me on but I am starting the Our Princesses project on Instagram with my friend Kaylee. But really, as much as i love the internet, I find just thinking is what I'm usually doing.
 Q: Favorite subject in school?
Whenever I went to public school at a school called Southern I literally could not choose a subject because everything sucked there. I could never focus, I was always getting picked on or yelled at, and my favorite part of the day was leaving and seeing the guidance counselor. But now that my mum pulled me out of that terrible school my favorite subject is Music and the Arts! OF COURSE. But I guess we'll see if it changes whenever I go to Hawbridge next year.
 Q: If you wrote a book, what would it be about?
Well, I write on a regular basis. I love writing. The book I'm focused on the most right now is my twist on an autobiography. My conscience has made a huge impact on my life and I've made it a ghost that follows me around.
 Q: Do you ever want to have kids? If so, how many?
Um... I really want to have kids! I seriously want to adopt and have some of my own. And like 2-4. c:
 Q: Are you currently crushing on someone?
I seriously don't know anymore. Last guy I really liked stopped talking to me and got a girlfriend- who's a model. Woohoo. I had a crush in the last show i teched for- but ya know, cast crushes. But I mean I'm only 14, I'll find someone.
 Q: First thing you notice about people?
(Seriously if people don't answer this the same way I am about to they are lying.) WHATEVER STANDS OUT FIRST! If you screamed and I turned around to see who did it- I noticed your voice first. If you have really freakin bright hair- I noticed your hair first. If you tower over me like a giant- I noticed your height first. If you touch a person inappropriately they notice you're a perv first.
 Q: Why do you love to act/perform?
Honestly I find this question kind of personal for me. It's strange. All my life I've wanted to get my voice heard, and thats a way of doing it. All my life I've wanted to be an inspiration. Ever since i remember I'd talk to myself in mirrors like i'm in some kind of weird reality show or something, and then think i was really strange afterwards. And most of my life I've wanted to be a different person. So it's probably a mix of all of those.
 Q: Why are you so perfect? :)  
That's easy. I'm not, you are.

Welcome to The World You Control.

So... Hello.

My name is Elizabeth Matthews. I am a writer, musician, and actress from North Carolina. I have decided to start blogging after seeing my best friend Madison Kimrey (http://functionalhumanbeing.blogspot.com) get noticed for her opinions on politics and just society in general. She has inspired me to do what I've always wanted to do and make a change in the world. While I am not interested in politics as much as Madison is, I want to speak up and start doing what I feel is right. It does not have to be politics, and i may not get as far as others, but I am determined to be heard. So here I go.

As a teenage girl I have come across far more drama than people think I do- seriously. Also facing issues with self confidence and bullying, I have met many people who have considered me their "savior" for helping them through depression and self hatred. Really what I would like to do is get my message out that you are not alone. No matter what you do, there is always a person that has dealt with the same (or similar) issue(s) that can help you through whatever it is. Depression and suicide are sensitive subjects, yes, but I am comfortable with speaking about it and helping the ones going through it.

My friend Kaylee and I have started a program called Our Princesses- a group of suicidal and depressed teenagers who just need to know people care about them and love them. I have successfully saved and inspired more than 10 people and knowing that isn't a lot is okay. I've made a difference, but I plan to make a larger one.

Now, don't worry. This blog will not be just depressing posts. I have a lot of subjects I feel very strong about and I would love it if you would join in my fight.

I love you.